It was on a flight across the country that I finally “had time” to start reading Present over Perfect (a recently published book that I’ve yet to finish but already want to re-read.) A book that has me questioning my life and how I got to where I am- both good and bad, places of never-ending adventures, so many friends, a supportive family, a great job, a new house, but also a place of overwhelming doubts, insecurities, and often unhappiness.
Boarding another flight, heading on yet a another vacation, beyond blessed for these adventures and opportunities, for the ability to travel, and experience more than myself. Yet, I’m sometimes dissatisfied. Not always content, reaching for more, moving or leaving in an attempt to find true meaning or something different. Reaching for the right things instead of so many of the wrong ones.
It was in airplane mode, reading a book about saying yes too much, staying busy to numb all the feelings, and asking big questions about what I want out of life, that I disconnected – truly disconnected. I always feel a sense of peace during this time, and the same was true when I vacationed earlier this year to visit a friend in SC.
Why don’t I set down my phone, log off email, stop checking the number of likes on my most recent post, and ignore my iPhone notifications more often? Why don’t I say yes to more me time without feeling guilty? Why don’t I stop wishing I was elsewhere? Why don’t I quit with the nonstop to-do lists, and telling myself I’m too busy for the truly meaningful things in life?
It was in airplane mode that I promised to slow down, to enjoy myself and the people closest to me, and to worry less about the doing and more about feeling. Whether feelings of sadness and doubt or periods of utter joy and happiness, I’m all in.